At the conclusion of our extravagant Hobo with a Shotgun movie night, I plopped in one of my favorite Playstation games to finish the night off with a bang. That game…was Incredible Crisis.
Incredible Crisis was quietly released, but deeply loved by those who got to touch it’s vulnerable, soft, subtle mini-games. Dropped here in November of 2000, Incredible Crisis was determined to give North America a dose of crazy Japanese culture. The game has you playing as four Japanese family members trying to finish their day early to get home to their Grandmother for her birthday. You see, that’s the only reason Grandmother feels like living, is for her birthday. Such a premise can’t bring that much excitement, can it? And as each member leaves for the day, the mini-game mayhem begins.
Your journey begins with Taneo, the father. Expecting to breeze through his office work, Taneo is sidetracked by a few small obstacles. Dancing, running from a giant globe Indiana Jones style, stopping a tower of terror elevator ride, and balancing like a trapeze artist on a flag pole stories above the ground is how he starts his day. Taneo is knocked unconscious after leaving his office building and wakes up in the capable hands of two paramedics. As every good paramedic does, Taneo is asked many, many random questions, and is launched out of the ambulance, stretcher and all, after answering enough questions correctly. Taneo, being the quick reflexed father he is, dodges traffic on the stretcher only to crash back into the Indiana Jones globe. But Taneo is met by the Lady in Red who really, really, really wants a “back massage” from Taneo on the conveniently placed ferris wheel. After rounds of female orgasmic screams, like any other woman, the Lady in Red leaves Taneo unsatisfied and stuck on the ferris wheel with a bomb strapped to it. As it explodes Taneo leaps True Lies style into the helicopter and is eventually kicked off by the bitch. As Taneo is falling he spotts a UFO (that looks a lot like a Simon Says toy) in danger, lands in a turret, and being the heroic man he is, decides to shoot down all missiles launched at the UFO, only to have one of the missiles blow him out of the turret, launching him in the air and landing in a small boat. Taneo is also a curious man, and decides to pull a cork from the floor of the boat, much to the shagrin of the captain, since the boat is now sinking Titanic style. Taneo dumps out buckets of water while the captain frantically tries to plug the hole. The ordeal is over, and Taneo is on the subway, waiting to go home, only to notice the Bitch in Red who motions that she’s cut the brake lines. The train screams out of control, off the tracks and smashes through the earth putting him in a familiar yard…Grandmother’s.
Now that’s only Taneo’s day. You also get to play through three other member’s days: Etsuko (mother), Ririka (daughter), and Tsuyoshi (son). All filled with random excitement. Etsuko aids a bank robbery, snowboards ahead of an avalanche, and shoots down a giant pink stuffed teddy bear while piloting a jet fighter. Ririka get’s chalk thrown at her friends, goes shopping, and even plays a round of Simon Says *wink wink*. And Etsuko shrunk to a miniature size, escapes giant ants and spiders, and tries to avoid mudslides.
There are 24 mini-games total, and every family member’s day will at some point co-exist with another members. This brings the game from it’s pure chaotic random encounters, into a well oiled brilliant story. Some of the games are incredibly fast paced, some will make your thumbs ache, and all will make your brain work in some fashion or another. If you haven’t had a chance to play Incredible Crisis, I strongly suggest you buy a Playstation one, just for the experience. That’s how much I love this underrated title, I’ve loved it since the day it arrived in my hands at Gamer’s Edge, and I’ll cherish it for more decades to come.